Thank you all

For your words of kindness, prayer, and support...

Sitting in the guest bedroom, where I have decided to stay felling ill with the flu I am starting to realise that I am just going in circles and that I really do not want to waste years of my life hopping for a change that seems impossible. Knowing what must be done and doing it..... so different.

Allow me to explain...

Life is not fair... it's just not, there is nothing fair about trying your best to make a marriage work and doing all the 'right' things to only get knocked down.. after all to be abused, cheated and still giving it your all being completely unhappy with life. and this is where I am at... marriage something I wanted so badly, that I went to a third world country for...and after all finding that it may have just been one big mistake. Starting to hate everything about him, but deep inside still wanting it to work. I am confused, sad, and generally unhappy. I feel like I have been taken advantage of. I feel like a dead horse being beaten and forced to move. I wish it was easy for me to say.. I am not happy and walk away from the three years of marriage that has become my life the good the bad, and the unspeakable aspects of it all. So I am venting about it because I really don't know what else to do. Knowing I deserve more, better, at the least love and respect. I have prayed about it and asked the advice of those I respect and who have been where I am and still it is a rode I have to take alone.
Any words of wisdom?